rose_of_pain: (zukalyn)
[personal profile] rose_of_pain
This year was an amazing year for me and for two main reasons. My trip to Japan and X-Japan.

I almost gave up on going to Japan several times, mainly because the idea of going alone was terrifying, especially since I never travel alone even here at home. But I did it and it was the single best decision of my life. I have absolutely no regrets (well except that I do wish I had had more time to do things while there, I suppose XD). I know I've been gushing about the trip a lot but it was seriously such a wonderful experience for me. I know feel confident I could go back too and be able to navigate around. I spent several years saving up for the trip with the intent of going there during Takarazuka's 100th anniversary. I saw Takarazuka live finally! After being a fan for 10 years, I finally finally got to live the dream of seeing them live. I was incredibly lucky to get to see Elisabeth (still my favorite show), got to see my favorite sienne Chie up close, and even got to see my first love Osa in concert! All within a week. It was seriously the dream trip for me and it was a truly magical experience. I smile every time I think about any part of it. And chance are you will all hear me continue to talk about it for years to come, so apologies in advance. XD

Since this year was the 100th, I did go a little crazy with the zuka and I think I'm justified with that. lol My collection nearly doubled in size from it all. @_@; But it was just so hard to say "no" especially with all the neat little anniversary things they released. I also went a little overboard with shows I watched. All together I saw around 50 shows in some form or another. XD I'm going to try to calm down a little next year though but we shall see how that goes.

I also got to see X-Japan live in Madison Square Garden, which was another huge dream come true. I almost didn't go because I thought I couldn't justify it after spending a lot of money on Japan and taking so many days off of work but in the end I decided to go and sooooo glad I did. I would have forever regretted it. I saw them live when they came to the US in 2010 but it was a much smaller venue. This really made a difference because they were able to bring their full set and it was just...EPIC. I just wish I had decided to go earlier on so I could have gotten a floor ticket. I spent a good portion of the concert eyeing the open part of that section, wishing there was some way to upgrade to it. Especially since I felt a little lonely up in my nearly empty row. But despite that I still made sure to rock out. XD I also got to see Yoshiki perform a piano concert at Otakon which was another huge event for me. *_*

Cosplay wise...I made only 3 costumes total for myself which is the smallest amount I've done in a very long time. *sigh* Granted Der Tod took up most of my year and then I got focused on Japan so didn't have much time or money to do stuff. Though honestly I'm not sure if I'll be making much more than that from this point on cause its proving harder and harder to find time with work and I'm also picking bigger projects with lots of details that need many hours. Hell I'm not even entirely sure what costumes I'm making next year but most of the ones I want to do are pretty time consuming.

Commissions...were almost non-existent. And once again it was because I just didn't have much time for them. I didn't get many inquiries and when I did, I had to turn a lot of them down due to timing or I'd simply forget to reply and I feel pretty awful and embarrassed by that. I've never been so awful about responding before. But I think its just that my mind had a hard time focusing. I only did 2 commissions this year and they were both only parts of a costume (a Harry Potter robe and pants for one of Corey's costumes). I did a few patches but only during the first half of the year. Didn't get any requests after that, but that's probably a good thing. I closed shop and haven't quite re-opened yet but I did take on a few commissions that I had put to the side so hopefully doing those will get me back in gear. Though I might never fully re-open since I honestly would prefer to spend most of my time on my own costumes now. I get very little profit from commissions and they're very stressful. So I might just pick and chose a few select ones here and there instead of opening up fully.

I also made a big decision involving my BJDs. Because honestly I was beginning to fear I was losing interest in the hobby. I didn't even touch any of my dolls for several months straight. After my trip, I went over and starred at them for a while and no, I definitely haven't lost my love for them. I just got focused on other things. I've just decided to take a new approach to them. Up to this point I had been basing what dolls, clothes, accessories, etc I buy on what I needed for the story I had going for my dolls. I only ever bought dolls if they fit a character in the story, which was great in a way since it kept me from buying on impulse. But I also would spend hours searching for the right outfits and spending hundreds of dollars on stuff I didn't necessarily really want but because it was what was needed for a specific scene. Then I'd spend hours setting the scene up and taking photos. But honestly it hasn't felt worth it. I love my story but only a few other people are even slightly interested in it and pretty sure if I stopped doing it, none of them would be upset. So why bother right? So I've decided to just do what all my friends in the hobby do, and just buy what I want regardless of if it fits the story or not. It still exists. I'm just not doing photostories anymore unless one strikes me that I just really WANT to do. Also means I'm going to probably sell a bunch of stuff I don't need anymore. But yeah I think this will result in me enjoying it more. Though I may still write up some summaries of the story if anyone is interested in knowing how it was going to go (since I did kinda have most if planned out already).

I did not get a new job this year. BUT I have taken a step forward finally. I wrote a new resume and with help from Ren, made it all spiffy looking. I just gotta figure out who to send it to now and start looking for actual potential jobs. I still have no idea what to really look for though but I just know I can't do retail anymore. Even though my boss has tried to offer me an increase in pay, I told her honestly that even the max they could give me there wouldn't be enough to be worth it. I am glad I had the experience though. I was promoted to Assistant Manager in the spring and I was even offered the position of Store Manager even though I turned it down. So hoping at least the experience will help gear me towards...something. But once I at least get my foot out there and try a few things (I don't expect to stick with the first job I get, I know I'll probably end up going through several, etc) to get a better idea of what I'd like to do, I then want to move forward and start paying my own bills and seeing exactly what I have to do to be able to survive. I will admit my parents pay for a lot of my stuff but I plan to gradually change that. Not all at once so not to overwhelm myself but here and there. So ideally this time next year I can start looking into the prospect of maybe moving out.

My 10 year high school reunion happened this year as well. I did not go to the actual reunion because I did not really enjoy high school and there were too many people I would rather not see. So paying to see the grand total of like 3 or 4 people that went who I would have been okay talking to...just didn't seem worth it. It also didn't seem like a setting I'd be very comfortable in. So instead ended up talking to the small group of friends who helped me get through those horrible years and we agreed we should do our own mini reunion. I really enjoyed it and everyone we invited actually came, even if only for a little bit. Most of them I hadn't seen in all these 10 years so it was pretty nice, especially to see that I could still socialize and relate to them even after such a long time. Granted I did have to remind myself a few times that these are my high school friends and not my college friends and thus they aren't going to respond the same way or know the same things, even if it started to feel that way. So I had to remind myself NOT to be surprised by the shocked looks I was getting at my ability to identify nearly every 90s/early2000s animated series theme song. I was confused why they couldn't identify them like I could. ^^;; But then I remembered that's my college crew that was a bit more obsessed with such things. Oops.

The one bad thing about this year is that I did go uber-hermit and I think I hit a mild case of Depression that comes and goes. I was a bit bawfled by this considering I couldn't understand how that could happen when I had such an amazing year. But emotionally wise I'm going through a lot of complicated things right now. I have a very hard time talking about it because I have a hard time forming it into the right words but also cause I don't want to upset/offend anyone since it mostly deals with friendships.

But hey, I did say last year that I thought 2014 would be a great year for me and it was! So huzzah!

~Lyn

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December 2016

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