stressed + depressed = not cool
Apr. 13th, 2008 11:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rose_of_painThis video project continues to kick my ass. Big time. Ugggh. Went through a lot of issues including programs freezing on me (did I ever mention how much I hate Macs? >>;;), forgetting needed cables and thus not being able to edit at all, having no time, and bad lighting, as well as my professor being so anal with all my shots. He doesn't like any of the stuff I've done so far. >> Screw him.
I've also been going through some major issues of depression and loneliness the last few months. I hate the fact that everyone lives so far away from me and the people that do live in my state I never seem to be able to get a hold of. I have NO social life. Even here at college I just don't have anyone I can really connect with and have fun hanging with.
God I need to get out more often. I want to say its my goal once I'm done with college (which is only in less than a month now) to get out more and hang with people...except I have a terrible feeling that won't happen and I'll just be in my parents' house each weekend feeling terribly alone.
Saturday I went to the sakura matsuri in DC and while most of it was a lot of fun, I had a few moments where I felt really down. And its hard to explain too but it was the same feeling I get at cons a lot. Where I have a lot of friends and people I know present but it seems like I can't connect with any of them and that I'm not really having as much fun as the people around me. Where everyone seems to have people they know so well and can just have a blast without having to try much. And I feel left out no matter what I do. Its odd and I don't know what my problem is.
But anyway, regardless, it was fun, even if I did come back totally sunburned. I organized a doll meet and at least some people came though I was kinda expecting more people (but I was also afraid no one would show up ^^;;). The festival itself seemed to be lacking this year though. Not sure if anyone else felt that but Andrew and Hamilton (who I traveled to DC with) also seemed to be disapointed with it. I think the most fun I had that day was the part of the doll meet when we were at the Sackler garden and the last hour or so of the day when I was just sitting on these steps with Rachel and Kumo (two doll people who decided to hang with me the rest of the day) and our dolls and some other doll people (who missed the meet) spotted us and congregated wit us and we ended up having this sorta-mini-doll-meet right there. XP But of course thats when Andrew and Hamilton decided we should leave, of course, when I was finally having fun again. lol Oh well. I really didn't want to leave at that point.
But there will be photos from the doll meet up on my doll LJ prolly sometime tomorrow. Already posted them on DOA but haven't on the LJ yet as I want to be more detailed in descriptions and I'm just too tired from all this video work right now.
~Lyn
I've also been going through some major issues of depression and loneliness the last few months. I hate the fact that everyone lives so far away from me and the people that do live in my state I never seem to be able to get a hold of. I have NO social life. Even here at college I just don't have anyone I can really connect with and have fun hanging with.
God I need to get out more often. I want to say its my goal once I'm done with college (which is only in less than a month now) to get out more and hang with people...except I have a terrible feeling that won't happen and I'll just be in my parents' house each weekend feeling terribly alone.
Saturday I went to the sakura matsuri in DC and while most of it was a lot of fun, I had a few moments where I felt really down. And its hard to explain too but it was the same feeling I get at cons a lot. Where I have a lot of friends and people I know present but it seems like I can't connect with any of them and that I'm not really having as much fun as the people around me. Where everyone seems to have people they know so well and can just have a blast without having to try much. And I feel left out no matter what I do. Its odd and I don't know what my problem is.
But anyway, regardless, it was fun, even if I did come back totally sunburned. I organized a doll meet and at least some people came though I was kinda expecting more people (but I was also afraid no one would show up ^^;;). The festival itself seemed to be lacking this year though. Not sure if anyone else felt that but Andrew and Hamilton (who I traveled to DC with) also seemed to be disapointed with it. I think the most fun I had that day was the part of the doll meet when we were at the Sackler garden and the last hour or so of the day when I was just sitting on these steps with Rachel and Kumo (two doll people who decided to hang with me the rest of the day) and our dolls and some other doll people (who missed the meet) spotted us and congregated wit us and we ended up having this sorta-mini-doll-meet right there. XP But of course thats when Andrew and Hamilton decided we should leave, of course, when I was finally having fun again. lol Oh well. I really didn't want to leave at that point.
But there will be photos from the doll meet up on my doll LJ prolly sometime tomorrow. Already posted them on DOA but haven't on the LJ yet as I want to be more detailed in descriptions and I'm just too tired from all this video work right now.
~Lyn
