Bleed in Blue

I've been trying over the last month or so to try to get better at two things. Mainly applying my own make-up and styling my own wigs. Because these are 2 things I have always failed at as a cosplayer. I constantly have to rely on others if I want either of the two done and I feel so bad about it. Usually I just end up going without make-up unless its a costume that absolutely has to have it. But I've been told that I really need it for a lot of my costumes and that I'm losing a bit of the look without it. *sighs*

That and I hate having to ask people for help all the time. I feel like such a bother and it really limits what I can do and when I can do it. 'Cause I need to make sure I have someone there willing to help me out. And this mostly came with the realization that at AnimeUSA, most of my friends who normally do help me with my make-up and wig stuff...won't be there. Well on the wig front its more that some of them I'm not sure on. So I'm really nervous as I'm bringing a costume that has heavy make-up that is a must and I have no idea if anyone is going to be able to help me with it. 'Cause not only do I need help with eye make-up but also to have a rather intricate design on my shoulder drawn on. Part of me thinks maybe I should just not bring the costume to this con and wait for a con when I have people I know that don't mind helping that have helped before. But...I won't be able to for like an entire year 'cause I can't wear it during the summer and I've got too much going on for Katsu. But I've barely worn it and I want to show off the new edited wings. T_T

I have been trying to do at least the basic make-up in hopes that I could apply my own for Ludwig and some of the other costumes that have simpler stuff and maybe at least do my eyes for Lucifer. But...its not going very well. I'm getting very frustrated. I've tried both liquid and the pencil at this point and both are equally difficult and frustrating. And it makes me want to cry every time because this is something that is so normal and natural for so many people but I just can't even understand it. Like its not even just a "oh you just need to learn it and practice". Like I can't comprehend make-up. I also have NEVER been good at drawing and make-up really is like drawing but on your face which is like a double evil for me. I end up looking like a drag queen in the end every time I do it. And I don't want to screw up a costume 'cause I have bad make-up.

At least with wigs I seem to be getting better. I studied a lot of tutorials online and I was able to at least successfully create bangs on two wigs and do a little bit of layering on one of them. So huzzah! I can cut after all. When previously all I've ever done is kill a wig by trying that. Granted it's still not all that great but I'm pretty proud of the progress. I just won't be attempting anything grand for quite a long time. However...the one wig needs the back to be styled in an "up-do" (I have no idea the actual term for this) where its just the long hair pulled up and pinned in place for real hair at least. And I know it will work with this wig. I've pulled it up with my hands and held it there to see and it looks great! Exactly what I want. But...I can't fucking figure out how to keep it there. I've tried a million bobbie pins and hair clips and it keeps drooping and not looking high enough in the front and then falls out anyways. So I'm going to have to once again find someone at the con to help me with this. T_T I'll probably make a post later on about it with reference to the costume and showing the wig to see if anyone has some suggestions at least.

I just feel so pathetic that I can't do these things when so many cosplayers I know can do it and it seems so natural to them. I can sew. And that's about it. Baaaaah. lol

I'm also nervous about the 2 costumes I'm making in general. One 'cause I'm not sure if I have the right figure to pull it off and that I'm not really good enough looking for the character. Most girls I see that do him are these skinny flat chested gorgeous European girls. The other one I'm worried I'll look really awkward in 'cause I tried the wig on and my immediate thought was "...I make a horrible ____" So I dunno, maybe it'll look better with the actual outfit once I make it but I'm already prepared for me to look awful and to just sell the wig and outfit and pretend it never happened. This is yet another reason why this costume is a "secret". 'Cause I don't know if I can do it and I'm starting to lose my courage here to go through with it.

Ok, that's enough wangsting and failing for you all. XD I'm done. At least until the next time I screw up on something. lol

~Lyn

I wasn't going to post any progress pictures on this costume as I wanted to wait til the con but I need some advice on this...



Haha, you can see my feet in the picture. XP

Anyways, on the shape...its kinda fugly and the "blade" part is pretty short. So wondering if I should make those spikes under it shorter? Or should I try to add another piece to the blade even though it will probably very obviously look like more than one piece?

Annnnd, this is the top piece, should I still make the bottom piece which is basically the same thing but smaller? 'Cause I was going to but now I'm not sure 'cause I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle the scythe with both pieces on. It might break while traveling it and it'd be harder to put down when I'm not holding it. But at the same time, it'd be more accurate and not many people do both sides.

Give me advice! 'Cause I'm running out of time here and need to get this done so I can go back to working on Kanda.

~Lyn